One of the top New Year's resolutions is always to find love.And though there are plenty of ways to attract the opposite sexand plenty of bars to check out, it's online dating sites that tend to reap the rewards of the post-holiday slump.I had been married and in subsequent serious relationships, so for me these dates were the emotional equivalent of riding a ten-speed bike next to someone on training wheels.My friend Jane, an online dating poster child and proselyte, nudged me towards You don’t want to spend several hours at dinner with a woman that you have no real chemistry with.On the other hand, if you’re enjoying yourself, you can always extend the time of your date. But not too specific because most people don’t love 18th-century colonial architecture AND Maya Angelou. Pro: You know what’s more relaxing than spending an entire Sunday hungover, in sweats, on the couch, eating Mexican/Chinese/Italian, talking to your girlfriends about what happened last night and watching reality TV marathons? Pro: You know that one picture that someone you love took of you when you’d just found out some awesome news or did some kick-ass thing at work, or maybe you were traveling and you’re all glowing and the lighting’s perfect and you’re not wearing that much makeup because you forgot all about it that morning and yeah girl, you look TONED at that angle, you been doing pilates? Con: I don’t know the percentage of people who post profile pictures of themselves from five years, two inches of hairline, and 20 pounds ago, but that number is HIGH. Pro: Unlike at the bar, where staring at anyone for more than six seconds can get you beat up or roofied, here you can stare all you want. You’ll end up sitting across from Pam from accounting in a strategy meeting and only seeing “MBA ISO BBM 4 sum PDA, NSA” plastered across her forehead. And you want to be specific, because we’re looking for someone who really GETS you, you know?
Women EXPECT to be approached in bars and they WANT it.
I think people are hoping for a “meet cute” story, something Woody Allen or Nora Ephron would have cooked up, with a dash of the Food Network thrown in.
But when I tell them the truth—and I always tell the truth about it—this mix of surprise and disappointment crosses their faces, right before they blurt out: “Really? There’s no sense of shame or failure on our part, no completely fabricated story about how we got together.
If you are a good guy with good intentions, you are almost doing women a favor by approaching and talking to them, so don’t ever feel bad about it in anyway.
Women don’t hate good guys who are confident enough to walk over and say hello…