Coping with divorce and the prospect of intimate sexual relationships thereafter is like having each foot in a different camp: which deserves the most attention?The answer lies in finding the root that connects them both: in dealing with one issue, you ultimately find yourself dealing with both.
Post-divorce sex can either salt the existing wounds or be a loving, satisfying experience; it depends on where you are on your "healing curve." Being dumped can bring on low self-esteem, feelings of personal failure, rejection, and abandonment."She needs to feel love and acclamation, and so she'll have sex with the guy who gives her attention and fulfills her immediate need. It can also be a way of retaliating from being in a relationship where she felt impotent, neglected, or rejected." Of course, men can end up on this emotional rollercoaster, too.Solomon-Ament says that this is really a form of self-sabotage: that by using casual sex specifically to deal with unresolved issues, you're only effecting a temporary cure that carries one hell of an emotional hang-over – not to mention the physical dangers of having sex with someone you don't know well.Divorce, on the other hand, no matter how common it has become in our society, is still a painful psychological process of denial and acceptance, grief and growth, death and rebirth.How is one to manage both the pain of divorce and the uncertainty of new sexual encounters when dealing with one comes so close upon the heels of the other?Your self-esteem and sense of self-worth continue to be assaulted the "morning after," and you're actively denying yourself all of the joy and fulfillment of a loving sexual relationship.