Dating opposites attract

Whatever your family did seems “normal” and “right” to you, and couples can get caught up in arguing about who’s right rather than focusing on what will work.

This is especially difficult in mixed-culture families.

It is why research shows that women are so good at multitasking, cooperation and relationship-building, and less focused on reaching a specific goal. Men, you might think she’s illogical or irrational, but she’s responding to emotional cues you haven’t been trained to see.

Different Families and/or Cultures It’s not just that “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”—it’s that all of us have grown up on different planets.

Newlywed couples are found to have happier and satisfying marriages when they have more in common personality-wise, as opposed to attitude-wise.

A 2005 study published in the investigated attitude similarity — having the same religion, or personal belief system — and personality similarity — qualities like anxiety, agreeableness, extraversion, and conscientiousness — between newlywed couples to determine what makes two individuals choose to be with each other rather than with one of many other potential partners.

Although there are successful pairings of opposites, such as TV couples Ted and Robin from, which suggests we prefer consistency in our desires, thoughts, and attitudes.

We are drawn to those who are similar to us because it affirms our own characteristics are normal, or desirable.

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Commenting positively on your partner’s looks or the day’s activities will also help.

It seems logical that like would attract like, but in my private practice as a marriage counselor and psychotherapist, I often see people drawn to their opposite—because it’s new and exciting.

However, what’s exciting in the newness of romance often becomes unbearable in the constant contact of a long time relationship If you and your partner don’t have a certain degree of similarity, your relationship will be too stressful to last.

Four simple steps to create a successful relationship despite your differences: 1. When you follow these four steps, your differences won’t separate you—they’ll excite you. Romance Blog” and has hosted “The Psyche Deli: delectable tidbits for the subconscious”, a weekly hour-long radio show. Romance, with columns at, Cougar Candy, and Yahoo!

Talk frequently and honestly to each other about your frustrations, about intimacy, about anger, about disappointment, about your appreciation of each other, about the meaning of life, about everything. Strive to work together to solve anything that comes up. (adapted from The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley) ©2010 Tina Tessina Author Bio: Tina B. Personals, as well as a Redbook Love Network expert. Tessina guests frequently on radio, and such TV shows as Oprah, Larry King Live and ABC news.


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